shave the yeti. DO IT. see it all the way through and enjoy…
ok, so i’ve got a well-earned reputation for being spectacularly accident prone. i don’t seek out dangerous situations or take stupid risks (not often, at least) but i tend to hurt myself anyway… and usually in such a way that my friends will be telling the story for years to come. ask them about the uhaul truck sometime… or the time i literally knocked myself silly.
anyway, this is the reason that, though i enjoy creating large, three-dimensional pieces of art, i don’t own any power tools beyond a drill. but that may all change. the mick shared this video with me and the only word that i have for it is “SDGk$hl@%ksdgjSD^&1!!” which isn’t a word at all really… just an expression of utter amazement…
if i ever get a table saw, you can bet your sweet rear-parts that it’ll be one of those… SDGk$hl@%ksdgjSD^&1!!
UPDATE: apparently Fox filed a copyright claim with youtube and killed this video. which is sad b/c the inventor actually put his own hand in the thing… this video will have to suffice even though it’s relatively boring…
it’s that time of year again, friends. the christmas trees are going up, tinsel is appearing everywhere, shoppers are eying each other threateningly, store clerks are eying shoppers with fear, the bank accounts of the nation are collectively taking a nose dive, every morning the dawn is greeted by glittering frost, christmas carols can be heard from offices, cubicles, storefronts, elevators, earbuds of passers by and there’s a nip in the air…
santa’s coming to town.
…with about 200 of his wildest friends.
this saturday night, the 13th of december, downtown nashville will be taken over by santas. the basic deal is that, at 8:30pm, approximately 200 people dressed as santa (or mrs. santa or santa’s helper or santa’s inspiration or whatever…) will start to fill up the beerseller on second ave. beer will be consumed and we’ll have the official reading of the rules. from there santa will visit various bars and entertainment venues along second and broadway. he’s always greeted with cheers, discounts, smiles and laughter. oh, and santa doesn’t pay covers either.
it sounds like a wild time – and it is, no question about it – but there ARE rules. this is not a red-dressed free-for-all. if you start trouble, make kids cry, get too smashed, or are a jerk you will not so much be asked to leave as MADE to leave. do not mistake me, this is not an excuse to dress up and wreak havoc.
the rules are as follows, straight from the official myspace page:
Santa apparel is mandatory. A Santa hat is not enough. Get a Santa suit. Make a Santa suit. Steal a Santa suit. Buy a Santa suit. If you don’t have any money, be creative. If you don’t have any creativity, slap yourself three times and ask your mom to help you. Glue cotton balls to red long johns. Already have a Santa suit? Make a spare so Santa can assimilate strangers. Past examples: pimp Santa/Santa garcia/Santa’s naughty little helper. Traditional suits can be bought at local party stores or ordered online for $12 and up.
The schedule is open to liberal interpretation by Santa. If you can’t show up for the start, get the cell number of someone who can talk you in later.
Santa does not make children cry (unless they whine, snivel, or otherwise deserve it). Really – If you see kids, give them nice toys, candy, or something pleasant. Feel free to urinate on their parents.
Watching Santa get drunk and obnoxious is fun. Babysitting Santa while they vomit in an alley is not.
Twisting the holiday paradigm until it screams for mercy is fun! Getting arrested is not. Santa Claus is friendly and cooperative with cops, security guards, park rangers, and secret service agents, and doesn’t break any laws (unless they’re stupid and deserve to be broken).
Bring gifts — Naughty gifts to give grown ups; nice stuff to give kids. Throwing coal at the white house is discouraged (see ..4 above).
Pay your own damn bar tab.
The answer to important questions that may arise:
Q: Who’s in charge?
Q: What organization are you with?
Q: What are you protesting?
A: “Shitty holiday parties”
Q: How did you get here?
A: “A sleigh and eight tiny reindeer”
Q: Where are you going?
A: “I’m only allowed to tell you if you dress like Santa”
anyway, that gives you a feel for the event, i think… if you’re interested, join us. i promise that it’s even more fun than it sounds.
‘ll give you an example… last year, we hit bbking’s. when we walked in, people were totally speechless. the house band took advantage of the distraction to launch into a 15 minute rendition of “shout” while 200 santas packed the dance floor. the speechless guests started laughing and cheering and joining in (because really, who DOESN’T want to dance with santa, let alone 200 santas?!). the dance floor actually started to bend with us as we jumped and danced. people who were expecting a meal and some blues and little else went home with a wild story to tell around the cooler on monday, the restaurant made good money, the band wore themselves OUT playing as hard as they could for us (and made BANK on tips i’m sure) and santa cut a rug like nobody’s business. everyone had a great time. and then santa left as suddenly as he came and moved on to the next venue.
it’s part performance, part frivolity, part costume party, part camaraderie…
join us. if you don’t have a suit, buy one and meet us at beersellar. you’ll have fun, you make new friends, you’ll laugh, you’ll dance, and you’ll have an amazing holiday story to tell.