alright… i think i’m about ready to write this post. i think i am anyway… here goes – this may ramble and i’m fairly sure it won’t be up to my usual writing standard…
so i used to work at a company called emi. i had two jobs there, actually. the first one was awesome and i met some really amazing people there (including my wife) and learned a lot. i was challenged daily and i loved my work.
then i got laid off.
but i got another job there and that was good. i worked with more truly amazing people who would enrich my life more than they could know. i learned even more about the music business then i could have imagined… but i did not enjoy the actual job. of course i TOLD myself that i loved it and that it was great…
then in april i was “let go.” i got two weeks and my boss and the company has been pretty awesome throughout the whole situation but the long and short of it was – i was out of a job.
i called my wife. i cried. i went through the usual stages that one supposedly goes through with these things…
but i kept coming back to one thought over and over… they were right. that job wasn’t right for me.
and that’s hard to admit, just so you know. i’ve always been of the mindset that i can do anything. i’m smart. i’m talented. i can do whatever is needed. i’m chris dumoulin – i’m unstoppable!
and i am… and i can. i still believe that. but here’s the thing…
the second gig was very left brained – it was about spreadsheets and numbers and checklists and tickboxes. i’m a fairly right-brained person… i like patterns and big pictures and lofty concepts and creating something from nothing. i can do the left-brained thing… but i’ll always be forcing it. and, ultimately, that’s what i ended up doing and that wasn’t good enough.
see that? that right there? that hurts to admit. i wasn’t good enough to do what really needed to be done…
see, that industry is being bent to the point of breaking and they need someone in there who thinks in grids and who dreams in spreadsheets. otherwise they will not survive. i’m not that guy.
but, when the pain and anger went away and the doubt and self-recriminations subsided, i was left with an overwhelming sense of…
relief.
it was over… i DIDN’T like that job. and now i didn’t have to go back to it. that was a weirdly wonderful feeling. don’t get me wrong, i liked (and continue to like for the most part) the company, strangely enough. the end of that job left me missing the people that i worked with in a bad way. i mean, i worked with some seriously amazing people for the most part…
of course, along with the relief, i was left with a shit-ton of fear. “what now” became the overwhelming question in my mind and that of my wife. we made a promise to each other, though. we promised each other that we would hit the mat and pray hard – that we would refuse to worry about money – that we would fervently seek God’s plan and direction for us. we committed to each other that we would spend at least 90 days seeking God’s will.
so i started helping jess with her work where i could. we are blessed that we share similar yet complimentary talents and skill-sets so i was actually able to be of some use. this freed her up to take on some more work… and then more work came along and we took on more and more. and then people started contacting me for freelance work.
and it keeps coming. it keeps coming and coming and it’s amazing. one of my friends (i forget who) said to me shortly after this all went down, “honestly, it seems like freelancing is the only way you’re going to use all of your skills and talents, man.” and it’s been true. i love that when i get up and make my coffee i can just go upstairs to the office and work. i love that i can be working graphic design in the morning and then be elbow deep in CSS and PHP in the afternoon and then, after dinner, i’m working with facebook’s advertising tools. it’s a buffet of awesome in my office every day. AND i get to work with some of my very best friends all the time!
i’m not saying that i’m stuck on freelancing – i’m still open to a full-time gig for sure… but we’re about half-way through this 90 day period and it’s starting to feel like this is what God has for us right now. and that’s awesome… and it’s scary as hell.
so here’s what i ask of you, my friends, family and passers by: if you think about it, pray for us. pray that God would make His will known to us and that we would be obedient.
also, if you have any web, marketing, social media, photography, mixing, engineering, graphic design or general nerdly needs – drop me a line. i’d love to work with you and share part of this journey with you.
much love, friends.
-cdumo